Paranoid Trump Loses His Marbles In Tweetstorm and the Internet Lets Him Have It

President Trump’s Morning Meltdown Lasted Just Under Three Hours

Donald Trump lost his shit this morning.

I know there’s a boy-who-cried-wolf aspect to that statement, but Wednesday’s sunrise tweetstorm was particularly discombobulated and paranoid. The president played all of his greatest hits, but with no rhyme or reason. He gratuitously lauded his ego-stroking sycophants in the right-wing media. He praised American workers without offering any specifics. There was plenty of his “deep state” bullshit. And on the only subject that impacts all Americans, he added further confusion to the tenuous negotiations over trade with China. The entire spectacle began a little before 6 AM on the east coast and went past 8:30.

And as per usual, the only redeeming quality was some top-notch reaction from the Twitterverse.

He began with his favorite tin-foil conspiracy:

Look how things have turned around on the Criminal Deep State. They go after Phony Collusion with Russia, a made up Scam, and end up getting caught in a major SPY scandal the likes of which this country may never have seen before! What goes around, comes around!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 23, 2018

And quoted a Fox and Friends panelist in real-time:

“It’s clear that they had eyes and ears all over the Trump Campaign” Judge Andrew Napolitano

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 23, 2018

Then he confused his own batshit theory with an old NFL controversy:

SPYGATE could be one of the biggest political scandals in history!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 23, 2018

More kudos and accolades for his personal cheerleading squad:

Everybody is with Tomi Lahren, a truly outstanding and respected young woman! @foxandfriends

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 23, 2018

Then back to his desperate last attempt to save his presidency:

“Trump should be happy that the FBI was SPYING on his campaign” No, James Clapper, I am not happy. Spying on a campaign would be illegal, and a scandal to boot!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 23, 2018

No substance, just some word salad on an ACTUAL issue:

Our Trade Deal with China is moving along nicely, but in the end we will probably have to use a different structure in that this will be too hard to get done and to verify results after completion.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 23, 2018

A promise to sign something he probably knows very little about:

Big legislation will be signed by me shortly. After many years, RIGHT TO TRY and big changes to DODD FRANK.

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 23, 2018

Put your lighters away, here’s his famous encore:

WITCH HUNT!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 23, 2018

It Didn’t Take Long For Twitter To Digest This Paranoid Tweetstorm

A decent American went to the FBI when he saw treasonous behaviour in Trump’s campaign. Thats what decent Americans do.

— Mister Bumface💭 (@misterbumface) May 23, 2018

23 indictments and 5 guilty pleas.
Your lawyer's assistant just flipped.
Your son will flip, too.#AmericaLost with Trump and his enablers

— CircusRebel (@CircusDrew) May 23, 2018

Translating Trump:

"Look how things are turning out in light of my Deep Criminal activities. They've got me on Collusion with Russia, I swore it was a good scam, and now I'm about to be caught in an even bigger scandal the likes of which this country may never have seen before."

— Bodhi Jones (@bodhijones) May 23, 2018

I don't get you, why do you care about "informants" if you have nothing to hide?
What happened to" the most transparent administration ever" ? Mr Never hold a Press Conference?

— #IamTheResistance. (@Anneredmond13) May 23, 2018

I wonder why? Were you colluding with Russia and Foreign Countries. The FBI was doing their job. Already 27 indictments and more to follow. The more you scream the worse it is. Who said “RUSSIA IF YOUR LISTENING” as usual you never think things out same thing you are doing now. pic.twitter.com/HidgtsYbF2

— NormaJean💎💙 (@normamarcio) May 23, 2018

Yes. You’re a Russian spy.

— Palmer Report (@PalmerReport) May 23, 2018

Wow Now @realDonaldTrump is stealing phrases from the NFL??? Used years ago

— TJ Jones (@8tjjones) May 23, 2018

Tinker, Tailor, Dotard, Spy

— Robbie Sherwood (@RobbieSherwood) May 23, 2018

She is a uninformed, pay for lies idiot and too bad she got wet.

— Lauri Roman (@LauraMRoman) May 23, 2018

Trust me when I say this, Donald, you are wrong. Only morons are with Tomi. The majority of people hear this👇🏼when she’s yammering away. pic.twitter.com/VMCzyMB2hj

— Suzy (@suzysmiles__2) May 23, 2018

Translation: our trade deal with China is falling apart because Xi won't cave to my bully tactics. China doesn't care about my ill advised tariffs, they'll buy from other sources & leave American soybean, rice, wheat farmers with crops they can't sell. I'm a terrible negotiator!

— Kathy Bruno (@kbrunocrafts) May 23, 2018

In other words, we need to hide more of the details because you are losing the negotiations.

— Red T Raccoon (@RedTRaccoon) May 23, 2018

We were hoping you’d be signing a resignation letter

— COGIC Family Service (@COGICFamily) May 23, 2018

What about your businesses abroad? Or Ivankas. Are you planning on bringing those back? Hypocrite.

— Christopher Gonzalez (@chris6192001) May 23, 2018

Please stop clutching your pearls — you of all people, who have built your "business" practices on manipulation and deceit, love all things illegal and scandalous. It's been your MO for decades!

— Lulu 🐝🦖 (@lizardhead61) May 23, 2018

🔥5 GUILTY pleas + 17 other #indictments:

~NSA Flynn: GUILTY for lying about contacts w/#Russia🇷🇺
~Campaign chair Manafort: INDICTED for #conspiracy + others
~Dep. campaign chair Gates: GUILTY of lying + #conspiracy
~#Covfefe boy PapaD: GUILTY for lying

MANY WITCHES‼️🤣😂🤣

— Dr. Dena Grayson (@DrDenaGrayson) May 23, 2018